Observing the Mind of Dissatisfaction

The most incredible meditations come through when I'm releasing with the enema. I squat on top of the toilet and release both waste and emotions. And the magic, I've learned, comes in through a deep state of relaxation - both in the mind and in the sphincter muscles. As I relax deeply, the colon releases more and more completely, and I go deeper and deeper into a profound state of meditation. It has become one of my favorite spiritual practices, because it facilitates opening up and surrendering and releasing the mind & thoughts & hurts & pains & frustrations. And I always seem to emerge lighter and brighter than I felt in the hours before. In one of my recent bathing + enema rituals, I had a major realization about the source of my pain. The realization came to me like a voice of pure light clarity as I was relaxing into a deep release of my colon. I had been asking "Why?" and the answer came as my voice speaking back to me: 'I don't like this,' 'This food is not good,' 'This place feels weird,' 'I don't want this,' 'I don't like these clothes' and on and on.