Farewell to Hawaii
Today I left the Big Island and spent the day in airports and on planes, flying back to Portland, Oregon. I sit here now, back in Portland, the city of Roses... Immediately I notice a lack of natural sounds in the atmosphere; the wind rustling, coqui frogs, the rustling of leaves and branches, the pitter patter of a drizzle... I miss the Coqui frogs like mad. I notice a lack of twinkling stars in the sky; they are lost here by the grey clouds blanketing the city. I wonder, where is the nearest beach? How do I get back to the magic? It's official, my heart has fallen madly in love with Hawaii. Like falling madly in love with a lover or beloved, only this time it's with the way my entire being and body feels, when in the sunshine, on the sand, in the water, absorbing the steam from the steam vents. I am in love with Hawaii the way one feels when they have finally found home after a lifetime of searching and waiting for that feeling of home
Tidepool Transformations
Upon entering the hushed room, she began sobbing. She began wailing and emotionally releasing so much anger, sadness, disgust, devastation and empathy. Her heart wept, and everyone nearby came up to hold her through her grieving. For the next hour, she was held by an entire room of friends and allies, as she processed her grief through tears, weeping into a bowl filled with crystals. Her allies came and held her body, laid their body next to hers, simply to hold her through the intense release of energy. Today was a day like any other, but for her it was a day of transformation. A day of grieving and working through her deep subconscious emotional body, to process and clear her emotional energy body, to allow for a greater level of clarity to open... And then it hit me. The realization that in the realms of human psychic dynamics, our emotional & psychic energy bodies are affected much like a tidepool ecosystem. And, my subconscious was attuned to the unseen emotional energy washing through the space and responding intuitively to the flow of psychic energy being released simultaneously as her waves were crashing.
Ecstatic Medicine Reflections
This summer I have been facilitating Ecstatic Medicine Vocal Circles as a workshop coordinator at several festivals: Emrg'n'See, Mystic Garden Party, Beloved Festival with the next and final workshop festival facilitating occuring at Symbiosis. This has been an amazing experience for myself as a facilitator, and I feel that I have been learning a lot about how to be a facilitator and guide through these experiences, and have been receiving nothing but amazing feedback and love from my work. For this, I am so grateful - and I am looking forward to returning to next year's festivals to facilitate more workshops, hopefully to build my practice to include more Qi Gong, and to have an album to be able to offer to all those who have expressed interest.
Observing the Mind of Dissatisfaction
The most incredible meditations come through when I'm releasing with the enema. I squat on top of the toilet and release both waste and emotions. And the magic, I've learned, comes in through a deep state of relaxation - both in the mind and in the sphincter muscles. As I relax deeply, the colon releases more and more completely, and I go deeper and deeper into a profound state of meditation. It has become one of my favorite spiritual practices, because it facilitates opening up and surrendering and releasing the mind & thoughts & hurts & pains & frustrations. And I always seem to emerge lighter and brighter than I felt in the hours before. In one of my recent bathing + enema rituals, I had a major realization about the source of my pain. The realization came to me like a voice of pure light clarity as I was relaxing into a deep release of my colon. I had been asking "Why?" and the answer came as my voice speaking back to me: 'I don't like this,' 'This food is not good,' 'This place feels weird,' 'I don't want this,' 'I don't like these clothes' and on and on.
Full Body Presence
Yesterday, I discovered an essay by Suzanne Scurlock Durana, entitled 'A Guide to Full-Body-Presence' in the recent issue of Massage Magazine. What perfect timing. I've been feeling low energy, depleted, verging on depressed and unable to show up and be present, these last few days. I'd awoken this morning with that feeling of being slammed over the head by a frying pan; headachey and irritated at feeling so crummy. My roommate, Keala, reminded me to revitalize my Chi this morning, by doing breathwork, and exercising, and getting some fresh air. I didn't know how I would be able to truly come and meet the day today, so I prayed fervently, and then spent a half hour doing some basic chi cultivation movements, breathwork, and strengthening of my arms and core with weights. And then all of a sudden, I felt vitality slowly seep in.In her article, Suzanne talks about the importance of Full Body Presence to other bodywork practitioners, and the need for "a strong flow of healthy energy moving through" the body. I think this is crucial for every human being, not only for massage therapists and other alternative healer practitioners. She goes on to say:
"While left-brained intelligence that helps us understand anatomy and physiology is vital in our practices, we are all called now to more whole-body knowing. We must learn to remain present in all of our cells, trusting and living from the wisdom of our being. So don’t throw out your left-brain education; just add your gut knowing, your heart’s whisper of inspiration, and round that out with the inner vision of who you truly are."